标题: 000. Who knows this unintentional chat allows children seriously. [打印本页] 作者: jtfOv9n6jg 时间: 2015-2-17 12:50 标题: 000. Who knows this unintentional chat allows children seriously. No morning newspaper reporter Fan
Tragedy
For a mother who Heilongjiang,they light the way through th, February 28, 2011 night, has become a "stay night" because that night, her son plunges to his 17 years of life will always remain in the dark .
The network, called Good little about the children is the focus of Heilongjiang Province, a senior high school students. At the end of last year, about the decision to participate in a small arts test, so they began an intensive examination of art and art of training a round of exams.
Ideal for small schools about the Communication University of China. Arts exam process, although very nervous but it went smoothly. February 25, after attending a small about the Communication University of China in Beijing at the "three test" Back to Heilongjiang, but only three days after a jump off a building.
Everything happened so fast, "he did not leave me a little time, let me do a little effort." Son's sudden departure, so little about her mother endured "knife cut out the heart" like pain, while a Unable to sleep one night, another even more immense pain also haunts her: Is not I give him too much pressure, just let him onto the road to ruin? What am I doing wrong all these years?
Reflections on Family Education
Small thinking back over and over again about my mother son growing up bit by bit, trying to find the origin of this tragedy.
Little about childhood is a clever and fun for kids.
His elementary school classmate more than a year younger children (children 7 years old at the time the Board of Education provides school, small school is about 6 years old), time and jumped in the third grade level, after the jump class "remains in the upper grades."
"The beginning of a small rise," the little about HIT High School admitted, "that the school is very competitive candidates, 100 children admitted only one." About her mother's childhood discourse, fully able to hear her son was proud. Although little about the results have been good, but the test was less than ideal to play, only a fraction of the gap between the ideal of Harbin Normal University High School missed.
Little about his birthplace was back in high school. This may be the first time about losing a small school history.
This is the home of the provincial key high school freshman in high placement of arts and sciences, liberal arts or science in the choice of questions, with their parents had a little about a lot of differences.
Little about reading habit. "When entered primary school, he would have been able to read independently, and can read the story to other students listening." Mom grew up reading about the culture of small interest. Once,giubbotti woolrich, little about the reading level is the mother's pride.
Little interest in reading about a very wide range of novels, essays, animation, philosophy, mythology ......
When the Liberal Arts, loves to read about a small liberal arts course want to choose, but from the perspective of parents of children long-term development considerations,spaccio moncler, I hope son chose science.
The small differences about the end in failure.
"The reason I convinced him that his language scores," said little about her mother, little reading about though very broad, eloquent, can Chukouchengzhang, however, a small essay about the results is not ideal, "his way of thinking is always unique, college entrance essay is a certain routine, and he does not always unique according to the routine, so the results are not always high. "
Because I like individuality can not take the language score, little about had "abandoned the text from the truth" of.
However, a small liberal arts are still about a favorite. Little about geography but also to his favorite teacher's house to go to class. Liberal arts classes for students geography exam, the questions do little about it again, the result is less than about 70 points score, liberal arts students were much lower average score than him.
In order to give their children a good choice of classroom teachers, school leaders mother asked her son slipped "fast class." This school has 20 parallel sessions with classes, just such a "fast class." Yuekao month every row of large school standings, only test scores ranked in the top 60 students in the school to students to stay in the fast class, going back down to regular classes. The regular classes if the student test scores to enter before 60 full school year will have the opportunity to enter into the fast class.
Fast class enormous academic pressure, coupled with the small about the achievements in the fast class is scheduled to be relatively reliable, high a little about very depressed, "he always said tired, unhappy."
Later, the family decided to make a small return to regular classes about. To the regular classes, small about ranking improved in the class can be routed around 10, emotions well up slowly. "He even said to rely on their ability to test back fast class." Mom recalls.
After entering the third year, a small firm to tell her mother about him going to participate in arts test.
"I never thought to let children participate in arts exam, he had the talent to learn the language, and I have been planning to let him apply for a foreign language professional, but the child's enthusiasm touched me, in order to give him a chance to realize their dreams, I agree with him to apply Communication University of China. "Mom says little about.
In the small mom about it, this seems to be the son of a last-ditch reunification arts, while her mother feel about small arts test questions more brighter, better to play the son of ingenuity.
However, her mother did not think his son's choice seems like a gamble: "He just wanted to test the Chinese media, other schools do not consider the whole, do not give yourself go backward." Mom let little about Jilin University also participated in the Arts test,then went to driving school t, "must have a bottom."
From preparing for the Arts exam to participate in arts test, about like a little full of spring, has been in a state of extreme excitement. Mom memories, from February 13 to formally test ended February 24 in the three test media, rarely seems little about sleep. "Every day I sleep when he is awake, wake up at night to see that he was still stumbled to tinker, he woke me up in the morning is, I really do not know these days, in the end he did not sleep."
Until now, little about my mother has been in a deep remorse,after three consecutive fled , he did not blame the child has been found in early child extremely tired state, after the end of the blame arts test only son to rest one day they let him put to sleep for a long time He bombers went to school,woolrich sito ufficiale, blame themselves fail to realize that children are walking single-plank bridge, blaming his childhood interest in reading among children to strangle his interest in high school again, blaming his son after school little chat with him myself, blame themselves for Children have been expecting too much, blame themselves asked his son "must excel." ......
Children of the pressure inside the mind of a black hole can not see the
In fact, little about my mother did not give little about too much pressure on young couples about their expectations of other parents will have: Who does not want their children better? But why tragedy happens to occur in less than about people?
"We have been ignoring a phenomenon: the child had some pressure from the outside, but put more pressure on the children of the internal and external pressures." Renowned education expert Sun said.
Sun Yun Xiao introduced, the formation of a person's usual habit to go through three stages: the first is the passive phase, when people's behavior more performance for compliance, compliance requirements and external pressure; the second is the active phase, which When people act more performance for recognition, identity demands and pressures from the outside; the third is the automatic stage, when people have to request and pressure from the outside is completely internalized, power comes from your own actions.
When the automatic stage, the child to withstand these pressures as a matter of course, as they must, should do things. "This power is enormous."
It is not difficult to explain why so many people in the eyes of the "good boy" chose to commit suicide because they are more likely to internalize the external pressures, the time when they were not good enough, they do not forgive myself even more,scared out of the toilet, they do not own more tolerance.
Sun Yun Xiao still can not forget a 13-year-old girl in Ningxia. The little girl in primary school graduation day hanged himself. Her distraught parents see their children when the suicide note. Children wrote: Dad, Mom, I was a poor student, I did not test well, I can not focus on school, I die,hogan sito ufficiale, can give you save $ 100,000.
The parents thought and thought, and they never get good with the kids said to spend 100,000 yuan money thing. Just talk with a neighbor over: ××× is to spend money on high school, six years down almost have to spend $ 100,000. Who knows this unintentional chat allows children seriously.
"You know, what childhood panic ah. Childhood fears is that children in the face of enormous pressure, can not understand, can not afford, and an anxiety generated. And this panic is more severe in young children filled with. "Sun said, so great was the panic and pressure of the inner child, this is a painful thing ah! "At the same time, we can not forget when we are faced with a child is in a 'stormy' age, they tend to paranoia, easy to go to extremes."
"Because of the success of our educational goals rather than happiness," Sun said, although parents, schools and teachers in the process of educating the children sometimes do not throw the baby directly to the pressure, but intentionally or unintentionally, have a choice to the children presenting information: We often tell children to go to college to be successful, but did not tell the child, "No go to college, even if you can still put a stall happy life"; we often frighten children, if you do not learn, parents hard to pay more, but did not tell the kids, these hard my father, my mother can afford; we often tell their children, if you do not learn it will live up to the teachers and parents, but did not tell them that the process is more important efforts, if they work hard there must be a harvest, so you should be happy in life happiness ......
To motivate children, we rolled out a no retreat in front of the children,moncler donna, no exit road.
So, from small to large, the children have no choice in the way of quietly powerful around the demands and pressures,louboutin femme, while adults are often unaware of this, there can be no feeling of pressure in the end of this internalized much. "It became a spiritual black hole, is causing fatal injuries to the child." Sun said.
"When the internal pressure of the child to a certain extent, to find relief is an inevitable choice," Sun said, in the process, if there is a good guide, children can relieve pressure on the heart, again without reservation, otherwise is likely to go astray.
Close to the child's mind the most important
"Education is the key to a good parent-child relationship,hogan spaccio," Sun Yun Xiao introduction, mentioned here a good parent-child relationship, and not blindly good for children, but the children respect and understanding of children.
"I can understand the feelings of the child can not learn the text, which must be less than the pain of losing a lover," Sun Yun Xiao he is a man fond of literature, so he understood very little about the deep hopelessness when not able to learn the text .
Little about mother was my heart many times she and her husband had to review the practice.
"In fact, the children went to high school after I told him you do not understand." Mom says little about.
Because junior high school when the child is in Harbin city, in order to take care of children, young mothers about their work transferred to Harbin, high school, little about back home, but mother not been able to transfer back to work. In this way, she would go to work early to go out late at night will come back. To save energy, the small mom usually would sleep until about nine at night. In this case, a small entrance under the weight of about a day, but lived a life very tight closed, more than six in the morning going to start from home, usually in the evening at home mom has to sleep.
Parents and little about communication has been very less.
Then little about still loves to read, so every night for a little time around it is very liberal, he would read a lot.
"I think a lot of reading this will affect his learning, so often too short a time to confiscate his books, but he will buy confiscated, almost all his pocket money spent on books. "Little about her mother said. "My biggest mistake was only know confiscated his books, to make him more time to learn, but not to sit down and communicate with him, into his soul."
US-based academics, renowned experts in family education and family happy once described Zhan told reporters County Family Education: Every child born is "0", a good family education is in the "0" on the increase "positive", the children grow up to be encountered numerous setbacks and difficulties, these are some of the "negative", a person's "positive" if large enough, then he will have sufficient capacity to reduce the impact of "negative" if a child who did not accumulate enough "positive", then the child will lack the ability to resist setbacks and difficulties, there will be problems.
Teachers, Psychology, Capital Normal University, Dr. Levin Road stated that there were no what parents can do is not make mistakes, nor what parents can do for children to withstand all the setbacks and difficulties that parents can do, is as close to the child's mind and establish a good relationship with them, at the right time to give them enough support and respect, at a critical moment in time to give them guidance.
+ Arts entrance exam to let the children physically and mentally fatigued
Can not be avoided, the little bear is about a high school student entrance pressure.
"Every year in the exam, the arrival of the college entrance examination season, when a child's psychological problems are more concentrated time, this time it is easier to hear the child's tragic suicide." Sun said.
2005, "Domestic five cities minors develop a joint investigation," Task Force on the psychological pressure of middle school students conducted a survey and found that high school students feel the pressure of the three largest are: "the pressure of studies and examinations," "academic burden overweight "and" asking too much of their parents. " Another by Anhui Medical University School of Public Health using self-rating depression scale, take surveys stratified cluster sampling method showed that depressive symptoms in the proportion of students who started more than one percent, the third year of this ratio reached 56.8 %.
Too much pressure on the college entrance examination is undoubtedly one of the reasons a little about the tragedy,giubbotti moncler,Reporters learned from releva.
"There is no school music class, no art class, not even a gym class, from 6:00 until 21:00, the third year of the children are trapped in a classroom set to answer." Mom says little about children leaving the night before,woolrich roma,Mao Columbia Laoya sour radis, had repeatedly told her: human "greed" is too big, the Earth ruined, children stare at her mother's eyes, firmly and decisively, said: "I'm going to save Earth Mama remember this is my will! "
"A 17-year-old boy, summarizes the fundamental reason is that mankind is about to destroy the 'greed', how accurate and appropriate. Is that we are too 'greedy' it!" The mother said little about.
In addition to the college entrance examination, has added little about arts test shackles.
"Arts exam experienced parents will never forget those days Tianhundian exam." Mom says little about.
All art school entrance examination are concentrated in the beginning of January and February, and the final results are announced after qualifying in April, because they do not know which school children can get the certificate, the parents just like headless flies, chaotic test rattling, with children from one city to another, non-stop exam.
"We just participated in two school arts test, from February 13 to February 25, almost always non-stop speeding, go out in the morning, came out from the examination room often have eight or nine in the evening. There are parents that their children sit more than 10 schools, to pay hard work and exertion can be imagined. "The mother said little about, because some school examination time conflict, and even some parents with children in the back and forth back and forth between the two cities. Children time to rest, sometimes only eating bread in the taxi,the baby was left behind . "T, for clothing. A school has a school exam; a professional and a professional examination; a professional one try, two or even three test test ......
Indeed, bear this pressure is not only about a small man, but that does not mean a child without incident is not painful. Many students after learning a little about the things said: not that we do not want to do this, is that we have the courage.
Entrance increasing pressure has become an indisputable fact, arts test specification also does not make a lot of students and parents complained. Who would not think a little about the choice is the right choice, but his choice was again to alarm us.
This past April Arts exam is announced, "three test" results of the time, little about her mother to be notified about the small Communication University of China has passed the "three tests." The news that her grief into a greater.
Little about my mother is a strong person, she has a child growing up in the reflection own mistakes, but, no matter how profound reflection,woolrich outlet, can not exchange a child's life.
Save the Children
- Little about her mother's Notes
While every inch memories are very Ganchangcunduan, but I choked back pain drowned, and put this experience to speak out, for my Farewell baby, but also to those hundreds of thousands still live in unhappy campus in children.
Heard of "Strawberry" children? In today's campus life with a large group portrait, like fresh strawberries, weak children, they live in prosperity among parents living under all sorts of favor, has not experienced any setbacks and suffering, it is not even a little bit of resistance to the outside world pressure, just a little bumper them, they were squeezed broken, emotional,while warning that "you this , behavioral, ideologically, there will be such, that kind of problem. Sometimes,hogan uomo outlet, it seems unremarkable events in adults, these kids seemed to have a big thing, terrible thing. This phenomenon is universal, how do we educate?
Meanwhile, in the shadow of the entrance, the children always lived in a tangible and intangible fears among pressure, over time, this concern began to build in the heart, so that the children feel that life is so unhappy, and even fear.
No matter how bitter I am, how piercing, they can not call back my son. My dear child, you are the pride of life, mom, you're thinking of a unique person, your inner world is rich and romantic, where both mysterious and lofty. Your enthusiasm study drama, research literature, geography research, the study of Chinese medicine,nike tn, research and even magic ...... you see Western philosophy, you read Norse mythology, you are also a fan of animation, you do not seem to have involved in the field, and your will is to "save Earth ", and my purpose is and you agreed, I want to remind those happy mother on Earth, to be concerned about the child, the child understand, and certainly children, praise the child, the child support ......
I hope these words can save young lives!
I hope my efforts can soothe my sad soul!